Put noise-cancelling curtains on your windows and soft, luxurious blankets on your bed. If you have any pets, be sure that they are out of the room during your intimate encounters. It can really kill the mood if your dog jumps up on the bed and decides that it wants kisses, too.
Other colors that did well in the study were red, sky blue, pink, and black. Colors to avoid include grey, green, and beige. [4] X Research source
Aim for a temperature between 68 and 70 degrees Fahrenheit, depending on your tastes.
You might also want to spray your sheets with a linen spray to keep them smelling good. If you do this, make sure you don’t go overboard — an overpowering scent will be off-putting.
That way, when you’re making out, you don’t end up digging around or searching for things when you need them.
Recommended tunes are ones with a sexy beat that evokes a wave-like feeling, but really anything that gets you going is fine!
To be safe, stick to unscented candles. If you really want to use scented candles, try one of these scents: pumpkin pie, licorice, lavender, cinnamon buns, or cucumber. Avoid cherry, cranberry, chocolate, and smokey scents.
Resist the urge to check your phone while being intimate with someone. A study showed that 1 in 10 people do this. If you’re one of those people, remove the temptation by leaving your phone on silent in the other room.
Just don’t be offended if they have to pull away momentarily to pee or remove any heavy bags, jackets etc. ! Standing upright will also make intimate oral acts feel more intense as the blood rushes downward. [9] X Research source Be sure that your partner trusts you before trying this one. If your partner has previously been attacked or assaulted, you should speak to your partner before trying this, as it could trigger painful memories.
When you do move on to the heavier stuff, keep going slowly! Experts say that going slowly can even help resolve sexual problems and boost confidence. [11] X Research source
It might make you both laugh, too, but after you get used to it, it can be pretty sexy!
Just make sure that you have enough time (i. e. won’t be late for anything important) and that you’re in a safe place where you won’t get caught.
If you’re nervous that you might post the video online, turn off the Wi-Fi and data on the device you use to film yourselves. Afterwards, permanently delete the video, or save it to a USB stick and delete it from the device.
A feather run lightly over erogenous zones can be a real turn-on. A blindfold can help enhance the senses.
You might consider drizzling honey, chocolate, or some other sweet-tasting sauce on each other’s skin and then licking it off.
Be realistic with your fantasy. Make sure that it won’t hurt the other person’s feelings or be too expensive to achieve. Choose your game wisely. A game like Monopoly may take hours to finish, which is fine as long as you’re not planning to act out the fantasy directly afterwards, as you might both be tired by then!
Just make sure that your clues/riddles aren’t too difficult to decipher, otherwise you’ll be waiting a long time, and your partner might show up feeling frustrated and tired instead of aroused!
Doing this when you’re by yourself might help put you in the mood, too, as you’ll anticipate your partner coming home and being turned on by you. If you already regularly wander around the house half-naked, you might need to amp it up a bit — for example, by purchasing new/extra sexy underwear/lingerie.
Just be careful about where your feet go — you don’t want to poke out any eyes!
Example: “I can’t stop thinking about last night. ;)” Example: “Mmm you looked so good leaving the house this morning… I want to do dirty things to you when we get home!”
If you feel insecure about yourself, watching a dirty movie may not be a good decision, as you may wind up feeling inferior to the people you see onscreen. This should be a fun experience, not one that leaves you feeling sad!
As your partner makes coffee/prepares breakfast, walk up behind him/her, wrap your arms around his/her waist or hips, and gently kiss his/her neck. While you’re out for dinner or drinks, casually caress your partner’s leg, moving your hand up as high as possible without it being creepy. This should give him/her a hint that you’re thinking about getting intimate. [22] X Research source Exchanging massages is another great way to build arousal from touch. [23] X Research source
The striptease can be as simple or complicated as you want. The key is to be yourself and do something that makes you feel good. If you’re funny and like to make your partner laugh, incorporate that into the routine; if you’re more of a slow and sultry type, do a slow and sultry routine. If you can’t dance, practise taking off your clothes in a sexy way without having to do much dancing.
If you think that your dull love life might be reflecting problems in the relationship, you need to talk to your partner about your concerns. You might find it useful to sit down and write your thoughts into a journal. This will help you clarify what you want to say when you talk to your partner. If either of you struggle with sexual shame, emotional distance or insecurity, it may be difficult to become aroused. Talking about these things can boost your intimacy. [24] X Research source
Doing things like this will show your partner that you value the relationship, and will help you two feel closer to one another. [25] X Research source The stronger emotional connection that results from this will lead to a stronger physical connection, too. [26] X Research source
The excitement of trying something new can translate to excitement in the bedroom.
Popular aphrodisiacs include oysters, salmon, pine nuts, and foods containing capsaicin. [28] X Research source
Even if you don’t have a post-workout makeout session, working out together will boost intimacy and build confidence. If exercise isn’t your thing, explore other things that you can regularly do together — for example, cooking, fishing, playing music, or any other hobby that you may both enjoy. [30] X Research source
Laughing together can also help you have fun despite any life stress you may be dealing with at the moment. It’s important to make time to have fun in each other’s company, no matter how stressful life may be.
Doing nice things for your partner beyond the bedroom can help make them feel desired. Even just telling them to relax while you do the dishes, or bringing them home a special treat should have a positive effect. [32] X Research source
Have fun while you’re there — some of things you see will be outright hilarious, and it’s okay to laugh. Just try not to laugh too hard, lest you scare or offend some of the other customers.
If he/she agrees, you might even sit down and make a calendar of the things you will do each day. It doesn’t have to be overly specific — for example, one day you could “have a quickie” or “use a toy”.
