6 Ways To Persuade People

People are most persuadable immediately after thanking someone – they feel indebted. What’s more, they are at their most persuasive after being thanked – they feel entitled. If someone thanks you, it’s the perfect time to ask for a favor. Sort of a what-goes-around-comes-around thing. You scratched their back, now it’s high time they scratch yours. [1] X Research source

First talk about what interests them. One of the best ways to get people to open up is to talk about what they’re passionate about. Ask intelligent, thoughtful questions about what interests them – and don’t forget to mention why those interests interest you! Seeing that you’re a kindred spirit will tell that person it’s okay to be receptive and open to you. Is that a picture of them skydiving on their desk? Crazy! You’ve just been looking into taking your first dive – but should you do it from 10,000 or 18,000 feet? What’s their seasoned opinion?

There is something to be said for clarity. If you’re obfuscating, the person may want to agree with you, but doesn’t necessarily know what you’re looking for. Speaking in the affirmative will help you maintain directness and keep your intentions clear.

Ethos – think credibility. We tend to believe people whom we respect. Why do you think spokesmen exist? For this exact appeal. Here’s an example: Hanes. Good underwear, respectable company. Is that enough for you to buy their product? Well, maybe. Wait, Michael Jordan has been sporting Hanes for over two decades?[3] X Research source Sold! Pathos – relies on your emotions. Everyone knows that SPCA commercial with Sarah McLachlan and the sad music and the sad puppies. That commercial is the worst. Why? Because you watch it, you get sad, and you feel compelled to help the puppies. Pathos at its finest. Logos – that’s the root of the word “logic. " This is perhaps the most honest of the persuasion methods. You simply state why the person you’re talking to should agree with you. That’s why statistics are used so prevalently. If you were told, “On average, adults who smoke cigarettes die 14 years earlier than nonsmokers,” (which is true, by the way[4] X Trustworthy Source Centers for Disease Control and Prevention Main public health institute for the US, run by the Dept. of Health and Human Services Go to source ), and you believed you wanted to live a long, healthy life, logic would dictate that you stop. Boom. Persuasion.

Create scarcity. Apart from what we humans need to survive, almost everything has value on a relative scale. Sometimes (maybe most of the time), we want things because other people want (or have) these things. If you want somebody to want what you have (or are or do or if they just want you), you have to make that object scarce, even if that object is yourself. Supply in demand, after all. [5] X Research source Create urgency. In order to get people to act in the moment, you have to be able to invoke a sense of urgency. If they’re not motivated enough to want whatever you have right now, it’s unlikely they’ll change their minds in the future. You must persuade people in the present; it’s all that matters. [6] X Research source

In October of 1976, a study published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology analyzed talking speed and attitude. The researchers spoke to the participants, trying to convince them that caffeine was bad for them. When they spoke at a turbo-charged pace of 195 words per minute, the participants were more persuaded; those given the lecture at 102 words per minute where less convinced. It was deemed that at higher rates of speech (195 words per minute is about the fastest that people speak in normal conversation), the message was viewed as more credible – and therefore more persuasive. Talking fast seems to indicate confidence, intelligence, objectivity and superior knowledge. Speech at 100 words per minute, the minimum of normal conversation, was associated with the negative side of the coin. [7] X Research source

Research done at Carnegie Mellon University has shown that humans prefer advice from confident sources – even if we know the source has a not-so-stellar track record. If someone is aware of this (subconsciously or otherwise), it can drive them to exaggerate how confident they are on the topic.

What’s wrong is everything. His entire image – his body, his movements – go against what he says. He has the appropriate, soft response, but his body language is hard, uncomfortable, and fierce. As a result, he’s not believable. In order to be persuasive, your message and your body language have to match up. Otherwise, you straight up look like a liar.

The most persuasive person is the one who is willing to keep asking for what they want, even when they keep getting turned down. No world leader would have gotten anything accomplished if he would’ve given up at his first rejection. Abraham Lincoln, one of the most revered presidents in history) lost his mother, three sons, a sister, his girlfriend, failed in business and lost eight separate elections before he was elected president of the United States.

Let’s say you are running a blog or paper and you want an author to do an interview. Instead of saying, “Hey! I like your work!” what would be more effective? Here’s an example: “Dear John, I noticed you have a book coming out in a few weeks, and I believe my readers, over at my blog, would eat it up. Would you be interested in doing a 20 minute interview, and I would feature it to all of my readers? We’ll also be able to end with a pitch for your book. “[8] X Research source Now John knows that if he does this article, he’ll reach a wider audience, selling more of his work, and making more money.

Here’s the same topic, only using a social incentive: “Dear John, I recently read that piece of research you published, and I couldn’t help but wonder “Why doesn’t EVERYONE know about this?” I was wondering, would you be interested in doing a quick 20 minute interview where we talk about this piece of research? In the past I’ve featured research from Max, someone I know you’ve worked with in the past, and I believe your research will be a big hit on my blog. “[8] X Research source Now, John knows Max is in the mix (alluding to ethos) and that this person feels passionately about his work. Socially, John has no reason not to do this and plenty of reason to.

“Dear John, I recently read that piece of research you published, and I couldn’t help but wonder “Why doesn’t EVERYONE know about this?” As a matter of fact, this is one of the reasons why I launched my podcast Social Triggers. My big goal is to bring the insights from academic papers to the general public. I was wondering, would you be interested in doing a quick 20 minute interview? We can highlight your research to all of my listeners, and hopefully we can both make the world a little bit smarter. “[8] X Research source That last line ignores the money and the ego and goes straight for the moral high road.

If you’re skeptical, there are people using this technique around you all the time. ALL THE TIME. Those pesky women in those kiosks at the mall handing out lotion? Reciprocity. The mint on your tab at the end of dinner? Reciprocity. The free 1800 Tequila shot glass you got at the bar? Reciprocity. It’s everywhere. Businesses the world over employ it.

An example of the success of this method is the use of information cards in hotel bathrooms. In one study, the number of customers who reused their towels increased by 33% when information cards in hotel rooms read “75% of customers who stay in this hotel reuse their towels,” according to research conducted at Influence at Work in Tempe, Ariz. It gets more intense. If you’ve ever taken a Psych 101 class, you’ve heard of this phenomenon. Back in the 50s, Solomon Asch conducted a whole bunch of conformity studies. He put a subject in a group of confederates who were all told to say the wrong answer (in this instance, that a visibly shorter line was longer than a visibly longer line (something a 3 year old could do). As a result, a shocking 75% of participants said the shorter line was longer and completely compromised what they actually believed, just to fit in with the norm. Crazy, huh?

So ask for what you actually want second. People feel a sense of guilt when they refuse a request, regardless of what it is generally. If the second request (i. e. , the real request) is something they have no reason not to comply with, then they’ll grab the opportunity. The second request gives them freedom from guilt, like an escape route. They’ll feel relieved, better about themselves, and you get what you want. [1] X Research source If you want a donation of $10, ask for $25. If you want a project done in a month, first ask for it in 2 weeks.

Remember how we said earlier that it was important to establish rapport so the listener feels similar to you and likes you? And then how we said to mirror your body language so the listener feels similar to you and likes you? Well, now you should use “we”. . . so the listener feels similar and likes you. Bet you didn’t see that one coming.

People are more likely to be willing to finish a task as opposed to doing the whole thing. Next time the laundry needs done, try throwing the clothes in the washer, then asking if your significant other would pick up your slack. [1] X Research source It’s so easy they can’t justify saying no.

In a research study by Jing Xu and Robert Wyer, participants showed that they were more receptive to anything if first shown something they agree with. In one of the sessions, participants listened to either a speech by John McCain or Barack Obama and then watched an ad for Toyota. Republicans were more swayed by the ad after watching John McCain, and Democrats? You guessed it – were more pro-Toyota after watching Barack Obama. So if you’re trying to sell something, get your customers agreeing with you first – even if what you talk about has nothing to do with what you’re selling. [9] X Research source

Over the years many studies have been done comparing one-sided and two-sided arguments and their efficacy and persuasiveness in different contexts. Daniel O’Keefe at the University of Illinois went through the results of 107 different studies (50 years, 20,111 participants) and developed a sort of meta-analysis. He concluded that two-sided arguments are more persuasive than their one-sided equivalents across the board – with different types of persuasive messages and with varied audiences. [10] X Research source

If every time your friend mentioned Pepsi you groaned, that would be an example of classical conditioning. Eventually, when you groan, your friend thinks of Pepsi (maybe you want them to drink more Coke?). A more useful example would be if your boss used the same phrases for praise with everyone. When you hear him congratulating someone else, it reminds you of the time he said it to you – and you work just a little bit harder with the surge of pride lifting your mood.

If you tell your child he is smart and that you know he’ll get good grades, he won’t want to disappoint you (if he can avoid it). Letting him know you’re confident in him will make it easier for him to be confident in himself. If you’re the boss of a company, be a source of positivity for your employees. If you give one a particularly difficult project, let her know that you’re giving it to her because you know she can do it. She’s exhibited X, X, and X qualities that prove it. With the boost, her work will be even better.

There was a study in which a group of executives had to make a decision on a proposal involving loss and gain. The differences were huge: Twice as many of the executives said yes to the proposal if the company was predicted to lose $500,000 if the proposal wasn’t accepted, compared to the project leading to a profit of $500,000. Could you be more persuasive just by outlining the costs and skimming over the benefits? Maybe. This works just as well in the home. Can’t pry the husband away from the television for a nice night out? Easy. Rather than packing for your guilt trip and nagging him about needing “quality time,” remind him that this is the last night before the kids get back. He’ll be more persuaded knowing he may be missing out on something. [1] X Research source This one should be taken with a grain of salt. There is opposing research that suggests that people don’t like to be reminded of negative things, at least personally. When it hits too close to home, they freak out at the negative implications. They would rather have “attractive skin” than “avoid skin cancer,” for example. [13] X Research source So keep in mind what you’re asking for before you frame it one way or another.

You don’t want them thinking that you want to force your point of view on them. Be suave and confident – they’ll be more likely to believe every word.

Be honest. If you have a product or idea that just isn’t necessary for them, they’ll know. It’ll get awkward and they’ll stop believing even the words that may have truth to them. Address both sides of the situation to assure them that you’re rational, logical, and have their best interests at heart.

People will be looking for something to nay-say if it seems like you get the greater gain from the transaction. Minimize this. The listener should be the one who benefits – not you.

While “yeah” may seem like an odd candidate for a persuasive word, it seems to have power because it makes you seem agreeable and amicable and that the other person is part of the request. Framing what you’re looking for as if it were an agreement, rather than a favor, may lead the other person to “helping out. "

Start of by making your boss feel a little less confident. Talk about something he/she doesn’t know much about – if possible, talk outside of his office, where it is neutral territory. After your pitch, remind him who’s the boss (he is!) – thus making him feel powerful once more)– so he can do something about your request. [10] X Research source

Use anger purposefully. Conflict makes most people uncomfortable. If you’re willing to “go there,” making the situation tense, that is, it’s like the other will back down. Don’t do this often, however, and definitely don’t do it in the heat of the moment or when you’ve lost a grip on your emotions. Only use this tactic skillfully and purposefully.